By studying the writings of St. Faustina and Mother Angelica, I am learning how important it is to "live in the Present Moment." Instead of feeling sorry for myself and wishing my life could go back to before November 15 or stressing about what decisions I have to make next week to treat the breast cancer that has metastisized to my brain and bone, I am learning (after 55 years) that I can more easily handle what is happening to me moment by moment.
By nature I am not a patient person. I like to have my life planned out months in advance. I like everything to be perfect. I like to post "to-do" lists all around my house. I like to be in control of what is happening to me (and other people). It is impossible to have this philosophy and also follow God's will for my life.
I am including some of Mother Angelica's thoughts that that are helping me to more purposefully live through this adventure.
Starting Over
Very few people live in the Present Moment. It's like a new sheet of paper. Did you ever wish you could start all over again? Well, you can. That's what the Present Moment is. It's God giving you a brand-new sheet to begin again. But some people keep scribbling the same miserable thing on it.
God's Love/God's Will
Do you really believe God loves you? If you do, you know everything that happens in your life is for your good. And it isn't always a peaceful experience.
Praying in Darkness
Sometimes I am so cold and in such darkness that I merely look to Heaven and plead for light. That's a prayer of faith. A lot of people think faith is all joy. Well, I don't. Faith is sometimes scary. There are many moments in life where you are uncertain about which way to go. That kind of faith is hard. There's a type of darkness in Faith, not the darkness that comes from sin, but the darkness that necessitates trust.
The Preparation of Pain
As I look back, pain was always a preparation for me. The Lord allowed pain before accomplishing anything He asked me to do. It made me more aware of my own weaknesses, my own faults, my own incompetence, my own lack of knowledge...it made me appreciate the fact that God must do everything.
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1 comment:
We are glad to know that you are holding to your faith. It's at times like these that we become vunerable to Satan, and must remember that God will get us through everything with His love for us and our love for Him. We are still praying for you and we love you
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